Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
