i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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