Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Where is the hickey?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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