The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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