You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
