I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They have beer where we have blood.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
