She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
