Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
