every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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