nut hugger
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just had sex on a roof
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
