He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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