I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you made out with another girl for some wings
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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