they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
