normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
