"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize