i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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