He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
