proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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