id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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