Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
