THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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