I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
