am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
