Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
