i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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