If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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