none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
