So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
