I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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