All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
