My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
