Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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