people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
