Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
