VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
