i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
