their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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