So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
