just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
