I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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