Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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