WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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