Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
