come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
