When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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