Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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