i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
