If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
