Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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