i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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