You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize