i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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