I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
