What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
