The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My breasts were aching with rage.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
