it was like his penis was on wheels.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
