Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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