part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
God, I missed his penis.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
